Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
