So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
