Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
