About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
