if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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