I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ttyl tear gas
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
