Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
