the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
