I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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