I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
