That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
