we should wear snuggies to the strip club
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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