Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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