All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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