AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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