My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize