When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
