How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
