Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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