whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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