I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
