..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize