You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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