My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Congratulations! We have a period
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