I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
