I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
