Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
