so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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