Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
