I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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