Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
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just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
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I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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