I accidentally had phone sex last night
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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