Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
