Where did you get a picture of my penis
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
