but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
