i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
