you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
