It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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