Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
