I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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