Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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