She's JV to your varsity
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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