Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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