Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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