You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
