The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My ass is underappreciated
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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