Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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