I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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