She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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