Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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