Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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