jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
