I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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