"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
