Please, let me fuck your mom
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
