just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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