It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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