Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
