There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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