your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
its liver damage thursday
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
