I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
