Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize