ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
