I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
